Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Signs

It seems that I have signs that flash brightly from my body. They come and go, depending upon the circumstances. Some of them are (but not limited to):

-If you see me driving down the road, please pull in front of me as close as possible so I have to break hard in order to not hit you. If you are going to go in the same direction as me, please drive at least 20 mph UNDER the speed limit. Even slower during the no passing zones.

-If you are the ages between 10 and 17, please question everything I say, and do it in a rude way. If I ask you to do something, tell me all the reasons why you can't. Argue with me as much as possible. Oh, and ask "why" as much as possible.

-If you are under 10, always be sure to do exactly the opposite of what I ask. If I say to be quiet, to walk, or to pay attention, be sure to blame the problem on someone other than yourself. You see, I don't have eyes or ears of my own so I don't really know what's going on.

-When I'm having a bad day, please make is worse if possible. This means to especially get after me if I don't know the rules. It's always better to get angry at someone who doesn't know the rules than someone who does.

-If I'm having a pity party, please be sure to tell me to knock it off. That always helps my mood even more.

-Treat me like a moron who knows nothing.

The end.

3 comments:

Marianne said...

That bad, huh? (or since I'm an adopted Canadian, Eh?) Sounds like you need a big break...too bad it is still a couple of weeks away! Until then...Good luck!

Kyle and Alyssa said...

Rough days, huh? Do you get Monday off? Come visit and we can do fun stuff, since all Kyle wants to do is study, get ahead in classes and take a MCAT pretest. Hopefully better times are ahead!

Linda said...

Dearest Shawnee, "KNOCK IT OFF" :-)
Love ya, Linda